Hard Time Kangaroo – Fun in Canada

Written by on December 24, 2023

Hard Time Kangaroo – Fun in Canada – by Liam Sweeny.

Ever wonder what it would be like to do hard time in a Toronto jail? Yeah, me neither. Not saying my cheeks don’t get a little tight when a cop pulls up behind me flashing berries on the way to someone who’s not doing 4.9 miles over the speed limit. But if I was wondering about jail, it would be the one down the street – and I’m not.

But an unnamed kangaroo may very well have wondered this when she punched a cop who’d grabbed her tail.

The unnamed (probably a minor) kangaroo was being transferred between facilities, from her prior stint (also unnamed) to rest at Oshawa Zoo and Fun Farm before going to SuperMax (maybe.) And she escaped, running wild in the roads of Oshawa, which is rookie, because we all know when you escape jail, you thumb a ride and go to see your hubby who’s been taking care of the kids (joeys) when you went out for smokes all those years ago.

But no, this ‘roo went wild. And so it got the attention of the Oshawa police, who had to subdue this unruly furball.

Have you ever seen a front on picture of a kangaroo? They’re jacked, even the females. They’re hardcore. They drown dogs in Australian lakes, standing straight up, and if you want to save your pooch, you gotta go in and fight it.

So yeah, the cop had to fight it. It punched him right in the face. Now I don’t wish any ill will on the cop, none at all, but I kinda wish I could see what that kangaroo’s punch did. And it wasn’t fair on the cop, because he would’ve felt like a crumb punching the thing back.

She’s a female kangaroo too. So the pouch. Maybe she had drugs, or shivs or something. I’d hate to be the one who had to search that.

Free the ‘roo! Free the ‘roo!



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