100 Men and a Gorilla – The Weird Side of the Internet

100 Men and a Gorilla – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.

Sometimes, every once and again, a question comes forth from the global cacophony of bored minds that promiss to captivate and goes on to overdeliver. The following is just such a question. Who can wiin in a contest (a fight), one-hundred ‘dedicated’ men, or one gorilla (also assumed to be dedicated.) Who would win this, and why did it somehow morph into Netflix host John Mulaney putting out a call to fight three fourteen-year-olds?

So, starting with the much larger question of the gorill versus the men. Who would win? Who do you think? I guess it depends on determination, the ‘dedicated’ part. We have to assume that 100 men are not going to survive this, so they have to be ready to die, at least some of them. Donkey Kong is definitely going to kill a few. And does anyone decide who is going to have ‘first go’ and likely not survive. Rock-paper-scissors? I’m thinking any other method of determining who dies would lead to resentment, arguments, and not-gorilla-killing. So we really need to know if there was a plan going in, or do they have to plan while on the run from a charging gorilla, which is one point gorilla.

I’m saying go for the eyes. Gorilla can’t see, a hundred men will have a shot. They’ll have a much better shot if the men were allowed to have guns, which is a whole ‘nother thing, and appropriate to John Mulvaney’s call out for three fourteen-year-olds to fight; the rules here are important but poorly spelled out.

Ultimately, no one is going to allow a hundred men to go kamikaze on a gorilla. All zoos would be like ‘hell no,’ and maybe you could get some celebrity with an exotic animal fixation to loan off a gorilla, but last I heard on the matter, MJ had a primate, but it was only a chimp named Bubbles. Wonder what Diddy had?

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