Stories
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Momo the Monkey – Maybe AA? Commentary by Liam Sweeny. Indianapolis is wild, stop me if you live there. Apparently, you’re allowed to have “wild and dangerous” animals there, but they have to be registered. So maybe that AI thing where the big guy shares his pizza with an alligator before full-bore kicking him […]
Yelson and Niko Against the World – retold by Liam Sweeny. My heart is full this morning, and unless you are forged in granite, yours will be too. There is a man, Yelson, who has escaped the turmoil of Venezuela along with his friend and made a treacherous three-thousand-mile journey to the city of Matamoros, […]
Harry Dick Road – A Road You Just Have to Take Home. Commentary by Liam Sweeny. People steal signs. Crackheads steal signs that say ‘Bump,” for example (look it up, ye wholesome folk.) And people never tire of stealing funny street signs. But when your street sign is Harry Dick Road, highway robbery is […]
Plastic Vanilla. A scientist has created a synthetic vanilla from plastic. I for one will not use it to make my French toast. But that’s mostly because I haven’t finished my bottle of vanilla extract, and waste not, want not. Once I’m tapped, sign me up for plastic vanilla. Smokers, or former smokers, look kinda […]
Wally the Alligator. Man, these feel good stories, sometimes the idiot media picks a shitty angle and screws up our joy. But I will not have it. Wally the Emotional Support Alligator was NOT, I repeat, NOT barred from Phillies stadium. Yes, a man, Joie Henny, has an emotional support alligator named Walley. He’s […]
Phineas Gage – Liam Sweeny. Did you ever hear the story of Phineas Gage? It’s a good story, especially with Halloween coming ‘round the bend. Phineas Gage even sounds like a ghost name, but the is (was) not a ghost. Should he have been? Probably, but this is a miraculous tale of survival. It’s […]
Jens Haaning – Blank Canvases – What Art? Today’s story is called “I’m tired…” Thanks for reading. So did I write a story just there? No, not at all, but was it art? A Danish artist is being sued over just such a head-scratcher. Jens Haaning was commissioned by the […]
Outlaw pup. Roses are red, pine trees have sap… Man tries to evade police while driving a golf cart and holding a dog in his lap. Sorry, I couldn’t help it. So here we have Florida man; no, I’m sorry, L.A. man, on the run from an assault with a deadly weapon, tearing up the […]
Dagnabbit! But what’s the opposite of that word, nabbit? Because we need that word, let’s call it “nabbit” to announce that all good sense and sanity has finally prevailed in our twisted world. The Oscar Mayer icon that weaves its way through the highways and byways of this great land is once, and truly called… […]
I have a work ethic. I hate it. Really it’s the face that I have ADHD and can’t just sit around doing nothing, so I do work. On a good tear, I can do a month’s worth of work in like three no-sleep days. But even I gotta recognize true genius at the craft: Guan […]
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